Living in a refuge

What to expect in a refuge

Living with other families is a big change when you're used to your own home. But knowing you're with women who understand what you've been through is a great help, and you may find their support invaluable. It will be a shock at first to find yourself in a strange, new environment. After a few days it will become easier and you will find you can start thinking about the future.

What will my room be like?

A refuge is not an institution - it is a house where women and children who have experienced domestic violence can live in safety. We make every effort to keep refuge addresses secret and male visitors are not allowed.

There is no one type of refuge, they are all different. Some have self-contained flats but all of them provide a room for you and your children with other areas (living room, kitchen, bathrooms) shared. You will cook meals for yourself and your children, although often women get together to share the cooking.

I have arrived with nothing

Often women arrive at the refuges with very few possessions. We can offer you emergency supplies such as food, nappies and toiletries. And help you obtain benefits.

Who will help me find my feet?

All refuges have trained staff who are there to help you get settled in, apply for benefits and deal with the other arrangements you will need to make, eg registering with a doctor or new schools for your children, contacting solicitors, dealing with immigration issues.

Staff are also there to support you emotionally. They understand what you have been through and will help you make sense of what is going on. They will not judge you or tell you what to do - they want you to have the time and space to make your own decisions. One worker will be your key worker. She will meet you weekly to make sure you are receiving the support you need.

How long can I stay?

You can stay in our refuges for as long as you need to find alternative accommodation or arrangements. Some women stay for a few days, others remain months while they wait for accommodation in a new community. A refuge gives you temporary accommodation while we help you find somewhere more permanent.

How do I get into a refuge?

The 24-hour National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline will help you find a refuge space. The police, social services and other agencies can also put you in touch with us.