Keeping safe

Deciding what to do can take time. You may wish to involve the police, talk to Refuge, or end the relationship. Whatever you decide, your safety is always most important.

It helps if you can safely make notes of abusive incidents, including times, dates, names, what was said and details of injuries. These notes can be very important when you need to access legal and welfare rights.

If you're still living with the abuser, think about how to protect yourself and your children:

• Be ready to call 999 if you or your children are in danger.
• Keep some money and a set of keys in a safe place.
• Find out about your legal and housing rights, eg talk to a solicitor.
• Keep copies of important papers (passports, birth certificates, court orders, marriage certificate) in a safe place.
• Carry a list of emergency numbers: police, relatives, friends, Refuge.
• Tell someone you trust about the abuse.
• Make calls from a phone box or a friend's house.
• Report any injuries to your GP so there is a record of the abuse.
• Talk to family and friends about staying with them in an emergency.
• Think about escape routes.

Looking after yourself is important. Do something you enjoy. Taking time to read a book, walk in the park or listen to some music can help you feel more able to deal with what is happening. Above all, remember the abuse is not your fault.

If you've left your partner, but are still in danger:

• Change the locks, and put locks on windows.
• Ask the police for advice on making your home more secure.
• Think about escape routes.
• Tell school who can pick up your children and who cannot.
• Report injuries to your GP so there is a record of the abuse.
• See a solicitor. They can help you with court orders to prevent your partner assaulting you, and make you aware of your legal rights.