Effects of domestic violence on children

In 9 incidents out of 10, children are in the same or next door room during a domestic violence incident.

The ways children respond to violence are varied. Some can become withdrawn and find it difficult to communicate, others express their feelings through behaviour problems, some bed wet or experience difficulties at school. All children living with abuse are under stress.

That stress may lead to any of the following:

• Withdrawal.
• Aggression or bullying.
• Tantrums.
• Vandalism.
• Problems in school, truancy, speech problems, difficulties with learning.
• Attention seeking.
• Nightmares or insomnia.
• Anxiety, depression, fear of abandonment.
• Feelings of inferiority.
• Drug or alcohol abuse.
• Eating disorders.
• Constant colds, headaches, mouth ulcers, asthma, eczema.

Older children may try and block out the abuse at home or blame themselves for what's happening. Domestic violence is a secret problem and children are made to feel they mustn't tell anyone outside the home what's going on between their parents.

It's not true that a child who has experienced domestic violence will necessarily become a perpetrator or victim. See myths.

See our help for women pages for ways of supporting children who have witnessed abuse.